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Intern and MindFuck : Part I


Co-author : Tanuj Choudhary 

Disclaimer: This blog is a compilation of accounts by different students and should not be confused as authors’ personal experiences. Any resemblance of undermentioned accounts with authors’ personal lives is just a matter of co-incidence. This blog shall not prohibit any potential recruiter from offering us an intern.  

Self-realization often generates strange emotions, especially when it involves the acknowledgement that you are not good enough. What can anyone do about it except going off to bed and trying to erase that part of memory? 

Internship is an integral part of your learning. It must be, after all,everyone is dying to find one. This blog is not about "how internships are important for your career?" It is certainly not going to help you in anyway, whatsoever, in landing up with an intern. The internet is crammed up with blogs of that kind where Intern Gurus pour their gyan (which often seem fruitless). On the contrary, this blog is the first of a series of blogs based on accounts of many brave undergrads who embark upon this tiresome quest of searching for a meaningful intern in a nation plagued with unemployment. Sole intention of the authors is to entertain you. We don’t possess any information on how to get an intern and even if we get such information we have no plans of sharing it with the readers as we are still looking for an intern ourselves.


Intern, Intern everywhere not an offer for me 
 Screw Stipend, Screw Acco, I can work for free.

Part I : Cover Letter Cosmos 

The cover letter is a letter which covers all the shortcomings of the writer and allegedly possesses a unique ability of transforming a Pentium (undergrad) into an i7 (Multi-tasking genius).

Obliged, assure, experience, explore,satisfy are a few terms (often used in while depicting a particular action ;-)) whose conspicuous arrangement and ubiquitous presence distinguishes this piece of literary masterpiece that every undergrad prepares at least once (no one is so lucky to use it just once) in his college life, in hope of impressing an imbecile alien unaware of college realities. This piece of writing is popularly called a cover letter which is often a best seller as it gets to the mailbox of several unaware readers. 

A cover letter often starts with a sheer betrayal of your core stream viz. I, XYZ , am enrolled in 4 year B.Tech program at ________. However, I have developed a keen interest in F. F here refers to a subject which at times is not even remotely associated with XYZ's curriculum ranging from journalism, law to any unknown stream the undergrad might have heard of (or  stumbled upon while surfing the net idly when he couldn't find a chick online).  

Although, they are aimed to achieve similar results, cover letters can be categorized into 4 major types on the basis of writing style, demands and offerings which is governed by the level of enthusiasm, anticipation and frustration of the candidate. 
1.     GREEDY STYLE

Often used by the amateur in this battle where the demands in the application overwhelm the offerings by the candidate. Such letters are written by the newcomer while he is dreaming of an iPhone and can be distinguished by the phrases like a monthly stipend of Rs10000/-, provision for accommodation.

    2.     MACHO STYLE

Soon the newbie gets versed with the arena as his emails fail to draw any attention and he goes through massive makeover (rather his cover letter does) and HOTSHOT is born. Now this self-styled genius possesses unique skills in complicated subjects, hitherto, unknown to him and is willing to work for next to nothing.

3.     THE PRO STYLE

Baffled and frustrated by his failure in spite  of projecting himself a superman, he finally attends a workshop that imparts some skills and lots of hope in his lost soul. This newly evolved PRO can easily spot his mistakes as he, no sorry, his cover letter becomes a letter of intent with subtle changes, made at several locations. Brimming with hope he clicks on SEND TO ALL and the hope soon departs as he receives REPLIES FROM NONE.




   4.     NEEDY STYLE  

Despair follows frustration, request becomes plea and enlightened by the plight of journey, the warrior converts into sage seeking knowledge. Undergrad quits all the demands and transforms into a dedicated slave who is put to purpose of learning all that is unknown to him by some greater powers. He pleads for an opportunity to learn;
 I don't bother about any stipend sir, I am just looking for an enriching experience often mark as the dying wail of this selfless scholar chasing a precious wealth of knowledge.  


The above are the styles of cover letter imposed upon by the circumstances but some brave souls prefer to be driven by choice rather than force. They are inspired by the elements in their social lives and for an average undergrad unread books, meaningful bakwaas and overly revised movies are more or less the social ambiance. Undermentioned styles can be attributed to these inspirations:



     
  • GODFATHER STYLE:

    'Nothing can beat a classic' , if you agree with this statement you won't find the use of a classic's dialogue in your cover letter too precarious or flamboyant, especially when the dialogue is considered to be a masterpiece in the Art of Persuasion. " I'll make you an offer you can't refuse. I am willing to work _______________ for late hours as well."

  • CSR (Corporate Social  Responsibility) STYLE:

    Well where did he came across the word 'CSR' he can't recollect, may be in some book or some bakar. Only thing he can say for sure about is,  it wasn't in a        lecture: He has never heard anything in lecture and moreover,in lectures, they don't tell anything you can put to use. "Everyone needs a fine executive, no one contributes to create one." or "When someone is willing to learn its responsibility of a corporate to help him in doing so" were the lines he used to generate a sense of social responsibility.

Finally, with a hope that you would follow all the above styles and create new ones as well, so that you can have similar troubles in finding an intern as we are having, we would like to conclude with a promise of coming back soon with similar experiences.


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