"Yeah! you are the busy guy", this taunt has somehow become integral part of my life. I hear it all the time, times when I forget to call my mom for weeks and friends for months or when I fail to receive their calls, or when I have to break my way out of an ongoing conversation,every time it emanates from a different source I feel the predicament of whether to consider it as an accusation or take it as a compliment (I hate sarcasm as most of the times I fail to get the intended meaning so I take the meaning that suits me, so for all those who think I am busy, Thanks :P), and I don't blame them as I have clearly failed to keep my work out of my life.
The realization is intimidating, yes, I am a workaholic.The one who can't just shake off his responsibilities. The one who takes his jobs to his bed, dreams about it and then wakes up again with the thoughts of the same. Yes, I am one of those who goes through all the perils to get things done. The one with a messed up personal life. I have often realized how difficult it can be to stay a friend of mine, a guy who is so obsessed by his job that he can leave you at times you are enjoying the most(You might have reminiscence of some similar incidence, don't worry everyone else has :p). Truly, guys you deserve an applause for not getting rid of me as frankly speaking, I would have despised to be a friend of mine.
People often ask, "Why take so much pressure? Most of the times, even you can't enjoy the things you are involved in." Well I don't do things so that I can enjoy them, I am well-aware of the perils they have in store. I know I might miss all the fun and end up all screwed. But, then ,you have to realize the fact that when you do something, its not about the fun you can have in the process, its the satisfaction you derive in the end. The emotions during the work can be tumultuous; at times you might be brimming with confidence, at times you are low with despair. But, the faith that you are creating something, something that no one else can create, something that others are admiring keeps you going and the only thing you can achieve out of your work is satisfaction. Satisfaction that you have prevailed till the end, the satisfaction the you have created the thing, and the unmatched satisfaction that you achieve when others admire your creation. Tougher the plight is, more intense will be this sense of satisfaction.
In the end I believe, being workaholic is amalgam of being an altruist and egotist, you gain nothing out of your creation, just the satisfaction that others are admiring it, and you go through all the perils just because you believe your work is important .
"What I create is not for me, it’s for all those who witness itI might have quit, but I carry on for the sake of admiration it receives,And yet my plight is nothing compared to the candle’s,As it burns itself for the light it gives."