Skip to main content

Zombie Living

Abeyance is the one word that can summarize an entire month of my life. I have now witnessed how procrastination can lead to total inactivity which was unprecedented to me, heretofore. I would not say it is a very common experience in daily life yet fortunate ones (generally suffering from acute depression etc.) get to observe the ultimate prowess of procrastination. You essentially need to be procrastinating on every single activity which is not forced upon you by nature or college administration for a month to finally attain this state which I shall christen as Zombie Living.

Zombie Living is a state where as a college student all you seek is basic necessity (Food, Sleep and TV series) and attend to most primitive responsibilities (maintaining attendance and copying tutorials).Zombie Living is, quintessentially, living by a code somewhat like a samurai: If I am at my room I shall watch TV series unless I am too tired to watch it, If I am out I am copying tutorial or sleeping in a lecture or looking fuddled in a practical. Oh yeah I never said it’s a good code, Zombie Living is living by a bad code.

However convenient this lifestyle might appear to be, it is utterly wasteful. What is being wasted is the precious time which drifts away accounting to nothing. Many of college students flaunt a lifestyle very similar to it without even realizing that they don’t really want it. We just succumb to it because it’s the easiest one. This lifestyle is just a result of procrastination from we really want. And we procrastinate because we are scared to pursue our dreams, we are scared that reality won’t be as perfect as our imagination, we are scared of the path that it would not be as exciting as the end, we are scared that we are not able and thus we put off things we should be acting upon.

We are very poor at managing our procrastination. Even if we know that we are procrastinating, it is difficult to overcome . It is like a old habit that would never die. This blog is my attempt to break away for this Zombie Living where I have been captivated by my own fears of failure and frailty. In this blog I have not concerned myself with a topic rather I have just tried to provide words to my dull senses. I wanted to come up with something so that it can offer hope to many other things to come.

I wish to free myself from this cage where despair is my inmate. I wish to walk in open, bask in sun, drink from the brook before I stretch my wings and fly with my dreams.


Popular posts from this blog

The Days of Maggi and Masala

If experiencing the unpleasant can trigger gleeful memories of past, then that spell in past must have been extraordinarily cheerful.  
When I last wrote a blog, I was still in college. Writing a blog was one of the leisure I could pursue given the luxury of time. But more importantly, writing a blog was testimony of my naive belief that an idea should always be expressed and mere expression of a thought can spark a change in itself. Such were those days. Today I am writing to pay reverence to a time when to me world still appeared to be salvable (I am not certain of it being a word, but it suited my purpose the most).   

"I am pissing steam"

It all started with today's fucking cold weather in Bangalore. Yes, to my surprise, it does get chilly here. Though, it is not really worrisome, but it did get me thinking about the steam pissing cold ( as Tanuj would put it) we used to have in the campus. Those were the times when I used to leave a laptop under my blanket with Call …

Dilli Diary

"For all its faults we love this city." - The city of Djinns
The thought of spending a couple weeks in Delhi in mid-April is something most people would dread and yet, I was brimming with excitement and anticipation. To me, it presented an opportunity to break away from the monotonic work culture of Bangalore and to reminisce about the old days with my college wing-mate in the city I  once used to call my second home. Now, while sitting in my return flight to Bangalore,  I am penning down my memoir of this trip to Delhi. 
Heat, Warmth and Hotheads
Summer heat was the first thing I sensed after stepping out of my flight in Delhi. This experience completely wiped out whatever tranquil effect was lingering on from the mesmerising aerial view of the city from my flight- ’ The floating island of lights in the sea of darkness' . I estimated the temperature in Delhi at the moment - validated it using the Accuweather app and registered the fact that Delhi nights were hotter than …

You still not die?

Biting winds pierce by Ripping my soul into shreds Cold night that muffles me Whispers only of winter ahead.
I dare not hope for a fireplace Nor heat of a rug do I aim I seek that flickering candle-light To help me have some warmth in dream
Battered body, tattered soul Demand only one reply With goals lost and dreams crushed Why, o man, you still not die?

The above poem is merely a rephrasing of Robert Frost's poem A Question with my words and absorption of the core idea. The poem throws light on the immense pain and suffering that accompanies almost everyone's life; then, enquires meaning and worth of such an existence. Here is Robert Frost's original poem which is more lyrical and succinct.
A voice said, look me in the stars, And tell me truly, man of earth, If all the body-and-soul scars Were not too much to pay for birth.