Skip to main content

Array of Chaos Part 1: IDENTITY


There are few moments in life you always despise, the moments when you can’t interpret your own thoughts, you can’t identify with yourself. This article is written in one of such weak moments, since these moments are characterized by the fuzziness of thoughts which offer no such underlying relations, thus the article lacks a unifying theme in itself and is more of a realization of various unrelated emotions. This is first part of the article which has been trisected.

# IDENTITY
Two years have passed since I have joined IIT Roorkee, but this was enough for me too appreciate an irony of life. No matter how many people you are surrounded with, there will be times when you’ll be made aware of your solo existence, about the perennial loneliness.  When you look around you can’t relate to the horde that surrounds you. With everyone having their own, obviously varying, perception of this world, it’s too difficult to commune with people due to such differences in perceptions and beliefs.  But then this scares you, it does the same to everyone, no one wishes to be secluded, we are social animals after all. We rush towards the crowd seeking for avenues where we can find people sharing similar perceptions of world. We find none, it disappoints us but then still we want to connect to others so we seek for people sharing similar hobbies, if we can’t find any, we engage ourselves with every random activity we lay our hands on. We make our lives hectic to avoid those interstices when we are forced to have the self-realization of being unique, no but we don’t want to be different we want to be similar but better (or what do we want to be?? maybe we don’t even know). So to identify with others we eliminate the uniqueness of ourselves and then every time we are forced to introspect we find ourselves even more intimidated as we can’t commune with others who themselves are running away from their selves in order to commune with others and then we can’t identify with ourselves cause we have willingly moved away from it in order to be similar.

So keen I was to be one with you
Imitating every move though understood few
 Little did I know but reality was
That I was killing me and thou were killing you.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dilli Diary

"For all its faults we love this city." - The city of Djinns The thought of spending a couple weeks in Delhi in mid-April is something most people would dread and yet, I was brimming with excitement and anticipation. To me, it presented an opportunity to break away from the monotonic work culture of Bangalore and to reminisce about the old days with my college wing-mate in the city I  once used to call my second home. Now, while sitting in my return flight to Bangalore,  I am penning down my memoir of this trip to Delhi.  Heat, Warmth and Hotheads Summer heat was the first thing I sensed after stepping out of my flight in Delhi. This experience completely wiped out whatever tranquil effect was lingering on from the mesmerising aerial view of the city from my flight- ’ The floating island of lights in the sea of darkness' . I estimated the temperature in Delhi at the moment - validated it using the Accuweather app and registered the fact that Delhi nights wer...

Array of Chaos Part 3: GOD

There are few moments in life you always despise, the moments when you can’t interpret your own thoughts, you can’t identify with yourself. This article is written in one of such weak moments, since these moments are characterised by the fuzziness of thoughts which offer no such underlying relations, thus the article lacks a unifying theme in itself and is more of a realisation of various unrelated emotions. This is the third part of an article which has been trisected. #GOD Is there a God? Again a paradox, sometimes I wonder whether everything is ambiguous in life or is there definitive reality. Even this can lead to a debate of illusion and reality. May be this is the reason I m so fascinated by life there are several questions which appear so simple but everyone has his own answers , all those answers are correct. You don’t have to follow a set of defined procedure to reach the solution; life on the other hand gives opportunities to explore your own solution which is d...

Cliffs, Abyss and Myopic Economy

I have always been fascinated by catchy phrases coined by the intellects and the media. And thus, its no surprise I discovered the word  FISCAL CLIFF  very intriguing. I would rather like to reveal that these are desperate times with socializing opportunities curtailed by extreme cold, so I have resorted to, what you may call  intellectual enlightenment.  As a part of this scheme I have started reading ET ( The Economic Times ) in hope that it might help me develop a financial outlook and satisfy my urges for statistical analysis which are terribly frequent these. So, ET, in recent past, was plagued by this phrase  Fiscal Cliff , so it quite natural to develop certain amount curiosity about it for any person even if he is not as inquisitive as me. Moreover, the enigma of the phrase is overemphasized by the height of urgency exhibited by US Congress in attending to it. I admit I was mesmerized by Senate's dedication as they sacrificed their New Year Eve to com...