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PP069: Porn and the Populace


Contributors: Tanuj Choudhary, Shreyas Adiyodi, Swapnil Jha , Ashwin Subash and those who must not be named. 

Disclaimer: Readers’ discretion is advised. Before proceeding any further check your premises, you don’t want to read it with your girl friend around.  CONTAINS SENSUAL LITERATURE. ( for 18+ readers ) 


A poster used in social media websites to endorse porn

Why do porn sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches porn and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My family and friends.'                                                                        

The Porn


Pornography: Pornography is class of videos watched in solitude and contains bare bodied Homosapiens(often of opposite genders) indulged in some primeval act of noisy wrestling. It has a unique ability of raising blood pressure and entices others to perform vigorous hand exercises.
 
Porn O' Porn, Where art thou?

In a feminine famine struck campus of Indian Institute of Technology, Tharkiyaap is often at its peak with porn being the most downloadable of all contents. A place where sexual fantasies of thousands of geeks are sacrificed porn prove to be the only escape.We surf, we seek, we find and download, we watch and re-watch till we get bored (or something else happens). This article is a tribute to porn for being an ultimate refuse for every engineer from his loneliness and hope that it does not end up being an eternal part of his life. 

JUST GET THE F**K OUT OUR LIVES (so that we can have it for real).

Meanwhile in Kerala

Mating and Eating are the basest of all human needs and still people don't treat them as equals. On one hand people don't deny eating food, even being foodaholic is gracefully accepted, on other hand people tend to veil their cravings for sex lest they will be considered desperate. Govt. makes several laws to meet the food requirements of the populace, no steps have ever been taken to acknowledge the need for sex. And at such dark times, when society doesn't even want to discuss the existence of sex outside their bed; Porn, the only ray of hope, spreads awareness among the ignorant.     


The Populace

Men 
Porn-bhakt: They should declare porn as educational after all it has very learning value we all learnt about sex from it. 
Philosopher: It's because porn is not real. 
Porn-bhakt: So is the literature. They should ban it too. 
Philosopher: Oh, hmm, but if they'll have to declare romantic movies educational too if they declare porn educational? 
Porn-bhakt: Don't give me that crap. Why romantic movies? 
Philosopher: Romantic movies ruin relationships. They give women unrealistic notions about what to expect from men. Porn has the same effect on men.

Why do men deny watching porn?
Photograph was taken before undermentioned conversation

Pal: You have heard of Sasha Grey?
Accused Moralist: Who?
Pal: She does very good anal man!
Accused Moralist: Shut up! I don't watch anal.


All men watch porn. I haven't yet met a single one who doesn't and they don';t generally deny watching porn to other man(with an exception that the other man is his father). So, if a guy denies watching porn to his peers, it is either to showcase his moral righteousness(which we all know is a crap) or may be he is into kinky stuffs and is ashamed to acknowledge it (who knows Gay Porn). 

When guys watch porn they don't fantasize about the girl in the porn, they fantasize about the act with a girl in their mind. 
Truth Test

And thus this universal fact can act as a wonderful lie detector for girls. To find out how truthful your BF is to you, ask him whether he watches porn. Trust me most of them will accept it, but if someone denies you know here is a deceptive guy. He wishes to manipulate you in believing that he is not all desperate about sex, but in reality he might be even more. Sometimes, when GFs are too judgmental guys try to shroud their porn-watching practices. Whatever it is, if the guy says 'no' as an answer, take it for granted that there is a problem either with him or you. Whether your guy is a geek or rockstar, all guys watch porn, PERIOD.

Women

Everyone, no matter how refined, had a stash of porn.


Based on an exhaustive research conducted with limited resources at an IITians disposal, it has been established that girls do watch porn. Even though sources were scarce, the results can be very well generalized given the voyeuristic nature of our sample. It has been determined that most of the girls watch porn (unlike boys where all of them do so). Moreover “I just watched it once and it was gross” dialogue is a total sham. Like boys, girls too start watching out of curiosity and end up watching it on regular intervals such as twice a week or even every day. Shocked!!(Well even I am!) There is a difference between the watching habits of girls and guys: Among girls there is a concept of watching porn during menstruation cycle and such patterns are absent in guys maybe because of absence of such cycles (or maybe because its sex! We don’t need any time for it, we are always ready).

Why do girls deny watching porn?
   
ERR.. EROTICA




Some girls deny watching porn simply because they don’t watch it. Girls with extreme fantasizing capabilities find porn less sensual and prefer erotica because they are more imaginative and provide slow build-up. (Some yin and yang explanation is involved)

"Porn is too mainstream, we prefer erotica."


PUBLIC PERCEPTION


Well, unlike boys, girls are more worried about the social perception about them. Thus, they often refrain from discussing about porn with even with other girls who not very close with the fear of being judged as desperate after all in case of girls there is a possibility that other girl doesn’t approve of porn. Most times when girls confess about watching porn, they do so in the veil of curiosity.

Girl 1: You know this one time, I watched that video that guys watch? 
Girl 2: What?? Porn!! :O :D :O 
Girl 1: Yeah, it was kinda creepy?? Blah..Blah..blah.. 
SEXUAL VULNERABILITY

The belief that guys are desperate sexual predator and girls are a classy prey with high moral integrity is of great implication. Girls believe that there acceptance of any form of sexual interest is symbolism of their sexual vulnerability (something they can’t afford in orthodox society with obsolete principles such as India).

"We don't want to give any wrong impressions."

Before you draw any inferences I would like to clarify that the aim of this article is not to endorse porn but just to acknowledge its ubiquitous nature. Moreover, this article is of little significance in practical life. Even after reading this blog post you can’t go to a girl and ask ‘Whether she watches porn?’ And if you do so, it will surely result in a tight slap irrespective of whether she watches porn in reality or not. I know it’s ironic, but our society is filled with ironies much worse than this.






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